Win my f***ing auction, Kos

I want to win this farce of an auction.  I thought this was an open auction for all progressives to bid on cool merchandise. Instead, I keep getting outbid on the stuff I really want. Now that I want to win, fair minded progressives would simply let me win that DailyKos User ID 100,000 I've been craving. Instead eBay will give me no such option. Like some sort of cult, I was welcomed in freely but am now being forced to bid against everyone to win. I do not want to simply bid on other items like cookies of mass destruction, or 4 15oz drinking liberally beer steins. Since Kos won't allow me the decent option of letting me win the 100,000 UID (just about every blog DOES let me do whatever I want), then somebody here needs to give that account directly to me. To deny me that account as my very own account is unacceptable.

You all rock. But a lot of you wouldn't know what to do with a champion pedigree horse studding from Hickory's Hell Cat.  To you a pedigree horse studding is whatever Hunter tells you it is. A tremendous amount of you are bidding in the auction because mommy and daddy are bidding in the auction. Churches and political parties are full of people bidding in the auction that are trying to win an autographed 2006 YearlyKos Convention Banner, with little regard bidding on a Bill Clinton Doll with Cigar, let alone a 2007 Bush Administration Countdown Calendar. The amount of bidding in the YearlyKos auction that goes on in America is what fuels the the vast left wing conspiracy. DailyKos exemplifies winning auctions, and I'm proud of any and all association I have had with it. I should be allowed to win this auction and go to Chicago; Why should I be forced lose the auction for DailyKos User ID 100,000? The herd mentality that goes on here scares me because, I WANT TO WIN. Regardless of my personal experience here, EVERYBODY WHO SIGNED UP TO THIS WEBSITE SHOULD BE FREE TO WIN YEARLYKOS AUCTIONS IF THEY SO WISH TO. For Kos to deny us this is downright fascist.

Since I can't win auctions myself, my only recourse is to be as abrasive and disruptive as I can be UNTIL I WIN MY AUCTION. As long as I haven't won my auction, I do not feel comfortable leaving. Is it really such a tough request to win my auction so I can go to Chicago?  Just what kind of auction lets you bid but won't let you win? One that regards people as little more than statistics, that's what. How like the Democratic Party for Kos to view his site's auctions as little more than statistics.

WIN MY FUCKING AUCTION, KOS. You don't want me hanging around, and neither do I.

Props to ErrinF for this classic diary. Confused? Read about it here